


Wishes and Regrets

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Avengers, Iron Man - Fandom, MCU, Marvel, The Avengers, Tony Stark - Fandom
Genre: F/M, open endings are my thing, save tony 2k17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-01-30 23:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12663468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: The Avengers are disassembled now, and everything in Tony Stark’s life too. He realizes a minute too late of what he has done.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, cursing, drinking, self destructiveness, pregnancy.

After the Avengers were disassembled, Tony Stark was never the same man again.

(Y/N) could see it; and the ones that were still around could do it. He was going back to the habits that made him so famous. No, no the hero-like habits of saving the world of alien threats and destroying murder-bots just for fun; he was going back to the one thing (Y/N) feared the most: alcohol and self-destruction.

He drowned in booze more times in a day that she could count, to the point that he came back home drunk, physically beaten up and hanging on Happy’s shoulders still babbling incoherent nonsense about the stranger that had beaten him up. The latter tried not to say anything, because it wasn’t his job to do it, but the sympathy looks and those usual “ _he’s gonna snap out of it someday_ ” were more than she could ask for.

Unfortunately, that day never came.

If there was one thing that (Y/N) hated more than the suits, was Tony drinking. He was a violent drunker, and even though he had never done anything to her, she feared that one day he would be so wasted that he would not recognize her.

One day, Happy had left Tony on the guest room, with a bottle of Gatorade and a box of aspirins on the side table next to him, and when he ran up the stairs to check up on (Y/N), he heard her crying her heart out from the other side of the door. He gently knocked it twice just to warn her he was there.

“Everything alright there, boss?” He asked from the outside

“Yes, Happy,” she replied with a shaky voice, terribly blowing up her cover. “I’m alright—”

But Happy knew better than that; he had two terrible liars as bosses, so breaking all protocols he entered the room only to find (Y/N) having a nervous breakdown right before his eyes. She was holding her knees tightly to her chest and shaking, and in her hands, a white-ish stick threatened with falling from her tight grip. He understood right away what was going on.

“Don’t say anything to Tony… please,” she begged, running towards him and holding on to the lapels of his vest.

It was the first time they had met in these circumstances. (Y/N) had always appeared stoic, and with a boyfriend like that, it was the only thing she could no. Tony had locked himself from everyone and not even Rhodey could get to him. Eventually, (Y/N) had fallen out of him too, just because she was worried about Tony.

“It’s not my job to tell him,” he said in a stern voice, helping her getting up. “I will not say a word, but you will have to,” (Y/N) nodded. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just your word on not telling him,” she bit her bottom lip.

“You got it,” he nodded once and left.

The next morning, when Tony was feeling a little less crappy and (Y/N) a little less nervous, they met in the kitchen. She was making breakfast for two, but Tony was no included. (Y/N) turned her head away to continue her labor; she didn’t want to fight so early, and Tony was decided on doing the same thing. They spent the day without talking to each other. And the next day followed. And then the next day. And the day after that. Until they reached their week limit. Tony was the first one to say something.

“Hey…” he sheepishly said, leaning his body on the door frame of their still shared bedroom.

He had plenty of time to think about it, he wanted to say he was sorry because he was, but he didn’t know how, and with the crazy hormones, (Y/N) was more and more unreachable than she had ever been. She could turn everything into a fight, and the only time she needed to keep calm, she didn’t. It was World War III inside their house.

“Are you on your period or what? You’re unbearable!” Tony yelled, clueless about her real state.

“Oh yeah, let’s blame my period for your lack of concern about your girlfriend, right? Let’s blame my period for your little respect to your own body!”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You need help, Tony; it’s not normal that you go out all day, every day and come back bruised and drunk,” she sighed tiredly, “I can’t do this anymore… not until you get real help,”

“I’ve been worst,” Tony pointed out, rolling his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean you can drink yourself to that point and beyond,” she shot back. “I’m not gonna stay here to see you doing that. I’m not gonna watch you destroy your liver and your life—” her words got caught on her throat. She wanted to tell him she was pregnant, but she felt too afraid to do it.

"Pepper would’ve stayed with me, and she wouldn’t even falter,”

“What?” (Y/N) stopped right before the door and slowly turned her head to Tony.

“I wish I never let her go, she was so much stronger than you are. If she worried, she’d take me herself to wherever I needed…”

“Like a mother would do, right? Well, newsflash Tony Stark, I’m not your mother,”

“Thanks for the orphan reminder, (Y/N). Real nice,” Tony rolled his eyes in exhaustion. “You and I were a mistake…” She fell silent, giving Tony the chance to continue his anger-filled rant. “I thought you and I would be better than this… but it’s obvious that we were not meant to be,”

(Y/N) didn’t know what to do. She felt numb, cold, and as if it wasn’t enough, she felt the tears pooling in her eyes. She tried to keep herself together, but she couldn’t. She thought of telling him the news right there, in the middle of their fight just to make him think again of the cruel words he just spat, but it was a terrible idea, just as terrible as not telling him.

She slowly turned to face him. Her face was red with anger and her heart pounded so loud that her ears buzzed and everything around her became silent. Her shattering heart was the only thing she could hear now.

“You’re gonna regret this, Stark,” (Y/N) shook her head, not caring about the tears that so furiously ran down her cheeks. “One day you’re gonna wake up so hangover, fucked up and so alone that you’re gonna wish you never left me,” her nostrils fluttered and her chest heaved with each air intake. She ran down the stairs, with her vision blurred by the non-stopping tears and a cold feeling on her chest; just as if her heart had frozen and shattered into a tiny million pieces. She was mentally preparing herself to leave everything behind.

Something had died inside her, but something was very alive inside her too.

* * *

 

“Who’s a pretty girl?” (Y/N) asked in a high pitched voice. The dark haired girl in her arms giggled at the sound of her mother’s voice. “Someone’s at the door,” the girls’ mouths formed an “o” shape and they went to see the stranger. “Yeah, how can I…” the sound extended and slowly faded away as (Y/N) saw who was there.

She hadn’t seen Tony in over a year, and even though she had her child to remind her of him every single day, (Y/N) was surely moving on from him. She couldn’t stuck to the memories of the good times because those seemed even farther than the last few memories she had of him. The life they built together was over and no matter how much she longed for it, or for him, neither of them were coming back, or so she made herself believe during the past year.

Tony’s eyes darted from (Y/N) to the child she held to tightly in her arms; she kinda looked like him, and if his math was right, that was most probably his child too. It didn’t take much brain to figure it out.

“You were right, (Y/N),” he gulped. “You were right all along. I woke up more fucked up than hangover, wishing I had never said those terrible things to you and wishing I never let you go; wishing I never let the two of you go…” he said, deciding to finally look at her. “Can we talk?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) doesn't want to give Tony a second chance, but life is funny when it comes to the things you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a request I got right here. This part happens right where we left off, Tony goes back to (Y/N)'s house after a while.

“You were right, (Y/N),” he gulped. “You were right all along. I woke up more fucked up than hangover, wishing I had never said those terrible things to you and wishing I never let you go; wishing I never let the two of you go…” he said, deciding to finally look at her. “Can we talk?”

“This is not a good time, Stark,” (Y/N) shook her head, “it’s a bit late, I mean… like a year late,” she chuckled gloomily.

“I know, and I’m sorry—but I just can’t let this go, and I realized I can’t let you go either,” his voice was soft and weak. “I can’t live knowing that I have a daughter and I am not doing anything to be responsible of her, I can start paying support or—”

“I don’t need anything from you, Tony, I honestly stopped needing you when I left you; it’s been hard, I’m not gonna lie, but I can’t cry over a man who didn’t seem to want me or care about me more than he cared about his hourly coffee. I have a family now, and you’re not in it,” (Y/N) bit her bottom lip. “Just—look, we can try and talk, but another day, I really can’t do it today,” she conceded after some seconds of thinking. “I have no one to babysit Maria—”

“Her name’s Maria?” Tony asked, cutting her off; a soft smile spread on his lips.

“Yes, it is,” (Y/N) propped her daughter in a more comfortable position in her arms, the girl held on tightly to her mother. “Tony, just leave, ok? I promise I’ll give you a call,” she closed the door without saying any further words; she wasn’t ready to have that conversation.

It was near dinnertime for little Maria, and (Y/N) was still shaken by her earlier visitor. She hated having things unresolved, and especially with a guy as persistent as Tony was. She texted her sister to ask if she could babysit Maria the next day, and luckily, she said yes.

“ _Stark, I still don’t have anything to say to you, but since you actually took the time to come all the way here, I’ve managed to get someone to take care of Maria tomorrow, so pick the place to talk and I’ll be there, try not to ruin it. –(Y/N)_ ”

She knew it wasn’t the cleverest idea to have; for starters, she had spent a great deal of time and effort in trying to forget about Tony, but decided to respect what it could have been his decision on their daughter’s name. She was trying to live her life without him because she knew he was not coming back, or at least, he wouldn’t come back after what he said. But there she was, trying to build up a civil relationship for the sake of their common daughter; he deserved at least to be a part of her life, but it was the one and only chance (Y/N) would give Tony, if he ruined there wouldn’t be any other.

“I know you won’t understand,” (Y/N) said to Maria as she happily enjoyed her meal, “but I gotta tell you something that might change our lives,” the little girl tilted her head as if she was really listening. “There’s a guy, the man who came by earlier? Well, his name’s Tony Stark and he happens to be your daddy, but we are not currently together because we had a fight and we broke up, and I didn’t tell him I had you, and now he came back into my life, and… I am not sure if I want him in yours; he’s got some good intentions, but… I don’t know if he deserves you,” (Y/N) sighed heavily, “I’ll tell you tomorrow how it went, deal?” She winked at the little girl and she giggled. “Now let’s get you to bed, we’ve got some business to do,” (Y/N) lifted her daughter and took her to the room.

The next day, and with her sister in the house, she paced around the living room restlessly.

“(Y/N), you have to calm down,” (Y/N)’s sister said. “You’re making me feel stressed, I’m sure he’s gonna come, and with a bit of luck, you’ll fix things up, for the sake of Maria, of course” she shrugged.

“What if he doesn’t appear?” (Y/N) shot back. “What if he chickened out after seeing her? Or worse, what if he realized that he doesn’t want to be in her life? My god, I cannot believe I’m actually getting all nervous for that asshole, I hate—” she was cut off by the doorbell; they looked at each other in awe, but her sister was the one who headed to the door.

“I come on behalf of Mr. Stark,” a familiar voice said once the door was opened. “I’ve come to pick Miss (Y/L/N) up,”

“Happy? Is this really you?” (Y/N) turned to look at the familiar voice, and ran towards him to hold him tightly. “Dear lord, you’re looking better each day, aren’t you?” She cupped his face in her hands and hugged him again.

“Well, you’re not too bad either, boss,” Happy chuckled. “That little cutie must be Maria, right?” He put his attention on a brunette little girl that played with a plush toy, completely unaware of his presence. “Mr. Stark’s hasn’t stopped talking about her since he came back from here; anyway, shall we? He’s waiting for you,” He pointed at the black SUV parked outside the house.

“Call me if you need anything,” (Y/N) hugged her sister goodbye. “Bye honey,” she kneeled next to her daughter who carelessly played with her toys, “I’ll be home soon, hopefully,” she kissed the top of her dark-haired head, “I love you,” she stood up and fearfully followed Happy.

She was taken to one of Tony’s houses in the city, the trip calmly went by with Happy’s great ability for conversation. They caught up with their lives and misadventures during this year and at least, he was glad to know that his former boss still had her pure heart untouched. The drive was relaxing enough to make (Y/N) forget about all her worries; what calmed her heart was that at least, Happy would drive her back home.

“I know it may seem biased, especially coming from someone like myself,” Happy said as he parked the car, “but he’s changed a lot this past time; he’s not the same man you left, boss, and, for what is worth, he still loves you a lot,” he shrugged.

“I didn’t get that vibe when we broke up,” (Y/N) shrugged one shoulder. “He said some pretty nasty things and… I don’t know, I’m scared—not for me, but for Maria, I don’t want her around someone who’s as self-destructive as Tony is, or used to be, I don’t really know; all I know is that my baby deserves to know who her father is, and he turns out to be a disappointment, I won’t regret that I didn’t try,” (Y/N) stayed in silence until she got to the very insides of house.

She heard noise coming from the dining room and headed that way just to find Tony finishing with the last touches of the table. He looked up to the clacking of her shoes and smiled widely when he found her there, looking as gorgeous as usual. (Y/N) took a deep breath and decided to let the arguing for later on, dinner looked too delicious to fight.

“I really hope you still like this,” Tony sheepishly said as he brought in the plates with (Y/N)’s favorite food, “I made it myself, without help but from the internet, and FRIDAY maybe,”

“Looks good, it means we’re halfway there,” (Y/N) conceded with a soft smile spread on her lips.

They sat in front to the other and ate; (Y/N) couldn’t even remember the last time Tony had made something for her, and she decided to drop the bomb before it was too late.

“Tony, the first thing I want you to know is that this is not a getting back together meeting, or meal or whatever” (Y/N) sighed heavily, leaving the fork and knife next to her plate. “I don’t need you, and Maria doesn’t need you either,” she shook her head, “we’ve been doing great without you in our lives, but I am only doing this because you’re her father and she doesn’t deserve to live without one,” she continued after a few seconds in silence. Tony looked at her lovingly, wishing she’d shut up for a minute so he could tell her how sorry he was in the first place, “even if he’s the biggest piece of shit standing on the planet. You will get visitations, and you’ll get more days if you are worthy of them; I reluctantly want you in her life, but if you screw up, you’re done and you won’t get any more chances,”

“It’s more than I would’ve expected,” Tony nodded his head, “and definitely more than I deserve, but I want to put a condition of my own,”

“You’ve got no right to do that,” she rolled her eyes.

“I want you to live here with her, not with me, of course,” he said. “I want you to live in a place that I know for sure is safe, and I want to have her near. I want to pay child support and give her the best things,”

“So you wanna buy her?”

“Come on, (Y/N)” Tony snarled. “Don’t be like that. I know I don’t deserve to even have you here because of all the shit I said, let alone I deserve to be a part of that child’s life, but I want to make things right for once in my life. Can’t blame a guy for trying, right? There’s one last thing I want, and I understand if you don’t,” (Y/N) nodded in acknowledgement, “I want Maria to have my last name,”

(Y/N)’s eyes opened wide and her lips dried almost as she heard the words. She would’ve expected anything from him, except for such request. She was speechless, and still taken aback. Her lips moved, trying to put some words together but no sound came out.

“Aren’t you going to say something? Yes? No?”

“Look,” (Y/N) exhaled, “I get it, and I really appreciate the efforts, for I know this means a lot not only to you, but to me too; I honestly never thought I’d be here again, and with you, having such a civil conversation, so if it makes you happy, I will move in here and accept your child support, and about her last name… I have to think about it, it’s a big ass step. Now let’s talk about visitations, it’s Maria’s first birthday next week, and I want you there…”

* * *

 

And three years later, it was Tony’s turn to spend the day with Maria; it was her 4th birthday and he was planning on throwing a party with friends and family, of course, (Y/N) included. Maria played with Peter, a kid that Tony took under his wing and he happened to be a kind of avenger too; he was also very good with children.

“(Y/N), can I talk to you outside for a second? Peter will take care of Maria in the meantime,” Tony said to her ear and she followed him towards the balcony at Stark Tower. “She’s having fun, right?”

“That kid Peter, we should pay him for babysitting that tiny little demon, right?” she chuckled heartedly. “Anyway, I wanna thank you, Tony, really; for everything you’ve done… Three years ago I wouldn’t have thought that we’d be here,” she placed a soft hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been a great dad to our little one,” she squeezed his shoulder.

“Yeah, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” he giggled. “I want to apologize for what I said to you four years ago—”

“Tony, I—” she chimed in.

“No,” Tony shook his head, “let me finish, I said awful things and I know that, I’ve seen it, a hundred times, and there hasn’t been one time that I don’t hate myself for all that,” he looked away. “But you’ve given me yet another chance at life,” he cupped (Y/N)’s face in his rough hands, “a chance at being a dad’s, and it’s been great and I know I didn’t make the same mistakes my old man made with me, I want to thank you for that,” he said softly, and as his words quietened, his lips searched for (Y/N)’s, and found them in a short, but heartfelt kiss.

“Oops!” Peter’s voice said as he stopped on his steps. “Mommy and daddy are having a talk, shall we come back later Maria?” They went back inside, leaving Tony and (Y/N) alone again.

“I have to go inside too—maybe she wants some—”

“Don’t,” Tony held her hand and made her look to him. “I’ve done nothing but being more in love with you,”

“I can’t, Tony,” (Y/N) shook her head with sorrow.

“I never stopped loving you, for the record, and parenting with you has only shown me how great you’ve always been,” he admitted. “(Y/N), you’re the love of my life—”

Out of a sudden, (Y/N) cut him off with her lips pressed against his. She loved him too, with all of her heart, and even though she had stopped loving him, seeing Tony as a parent really changed her mind and reminded her the many things she liked about him. She tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth in a gentle manner.

“This is yet another thing you don’t have to screw up, Stark,” (Y/N) broke the kiss and patted his chest. She frowned when she found a strange object underneath his jacket. Tony took a light blue box with a silver ribbon on it; it was all too familiar. He opened it gently to reveal a very delicate ring. (Y/N)’s eyes filled with tears as she giggled nervously and tried to walk away.

“Too soon?” Tony asked, kneeling right in front of her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” (Y/N) shook her head in disbelief. “This is a joke, right? I mean, this is when you tie your shoes because you’re joking,”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life, (Y/N),” he replied, shaking his head.

“Put it on before I regret it,” she covered her eyes with one hand as she reached out her free” hand towards him.

“Come on, (Y/N),” Tony pouted. “It’s only the rest of your life!"

(Y/N) looked at the ring with teary eyes and breathed heavily. "This is a Tiffany, right? Holy shit..."

"I said I wanted to give you the best I could," Tony leaned forward to kiss his new fianceé.


End file.
